The letter that started it all

Dear Jewish People:

Each year, at parshas v'yatze, the Jewish boys and girls all come running home with Rashi's story: "Leah cried day and night. Leah cried day and night. Boo hoo hoo."

But don't you pious people do shnayim mikra v'echad targum? And doesn't the targum (Onkelos) translate the verse about my eyes this way: "And the eyes of Leah were beautiful."

Why yes, I think it does.

So why isn't this more positive view in circulation? Why am I remembered as the bible's Moaning Myrtle instead of as the chick with the drop -dead gorgeous eyes?

Also, I know you shrewd Jewish businessman prefer to think of Jacob's scheme with the sheep as the archetype example of Jewish cunning. And yes that was a pretty neat swindle. But how about my acquiring a night of hot love for the price of some lousy flowers?

That doesn't impress you?

Yours Sincerely,
Leah,
Wife of Jacob, Matriarch

Rachel Responds

Dearest Leah,

You're forgetting that our husband is a Brisker Lamdan. 29:17 "The eyes of Leah were tender, Rochel was of beautiful form and of beautiful appearence."

"Rakkos" isn't a word usually associated with beauty, whereas by me, the standard terms of beauty were used.

"Mashmah", that the Torah is indicating a message here. But don't feel bad, dearie. Because the message is positive, that you did not wish to marry the evil Esav.

Now, no doubt, that if our good friend Dovbear would've been around, he would have calmed you that Esov wasn't so evil afterall. But alas, your tears weren't in vain, as indeed you ended up marrying Yakkov before me, and you had children while I couldn't. So go tell all those bad B.T.A. Apikorsim, that they should stop mocking the prayers and tears of the Jewish people.

Yours sincerely,
Your younger sister,
Rachel, Wife of Jacob,Matriarch

Rochel 12.01.06 - 11:41 am #