Leah,

I thought about what you accused my husband, that he kissed me even before our first date.

I realized, that the Torah got messed up by men.

29:10 says: "Va-yashk es tzon lovon" - and yakkov gave to drink the sheep of lovon.
29:11 was suppposed to read: "Va-yashk yakkov l'rochel" - and yakkov offered rochel a drink too.

But sometime ago, some modern bums were looking for a heter to kiss their girlfriends. So they changed "Va-yashk" to "Vayi-shak". Thus, if the holy yakkov could kiss rochel, so could they.

Rochel

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Hello, that's actualy Rabbi David Weiss Halivny's theory, and there is even more evidence out there that he is right. Take my story. I appear once, when Eliezer arrives, but I am not there where he leaves the next day. Therefore the Rabbi's concluded that I died overnight. Worse, they say I die because my plan to kill Eliezer backfired.

This is wrong. I was dead long before Eliezer showed up. We know this because the verse says Rivka went to her MOTHER'S house, and because Lavan and their mother do all the talking. The one time I appear the verbs (v'yaan and omr) are singular, even though two of us (me and Lavan) are supposedly doing the talking. Clearly and obviously that one appearence of mine is a scribal error; someone dropped my name into the verse, and because of it the rabbis wasted so much ink making up stories.

Bethuel
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ta, you really have been drinking and partying to much. You and your son are two peas in a pod. Thank g-d eliezer took me out of there, I would have gone crazy!

Rivkah

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>The one time I appear the verbs (v'yaan and omr) are singular,

Shtussim. It says v'yaan and vayomRU. v'yaan is singular 'cause lovon was a chupinyak and answered before his father. I should of killed him too, but then you would all miss out on the fun yakkov had with him later on.

I personaly killed Bethuel. Serves him right for wanting to kill eliezer.

maloch

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and i'm so glad you did.

And on that day I dressed in white and celebrated as everyone celebrates the death of a relative whos a rasha.
Rivkah

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Serves him right for wanting to kill eliezer

I figured that was the only way to shut him up. I mean, we all saw over the closed-circuit camera what happened at the well. Do we really have to hear it all over again?
Besuel

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Shtussim. It says v'yaan and vayomRU. v'yaan is singular 'cause lovon was a chupinyak and answered before his father. I should of killed him too, but then you would all miss out on the fun yakkov had with him later on.

The vov belongs to the next word shegetx, and the "vayaan" shows I was droped in later. No angel killed me. I wasn't there!
Bethuel

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Ta, i think you forgot you medicine.
Rivkah

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What is this "ta" stuff. Did I speak Yiddish?
Bethuel

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>The vov belongs to the next word shegetx, and the "vayaan" shows I was droped in later. No angel killed me. I wasn't there!

Yes you were there, you illiterate putz. According to your distorted reading, it would have said: v'yaan lovon vayomar, U'may'hashem yotzo hadovor. Why **U**'may'hashem?? Even big bad lovon didn't have such bad grammar. Also, "lo NUchal daber" is plural, according to you, it should have said "lo Uchal daber".

'fess up. You were there and I eliminated you.
maloch

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I wasn't there. That's why it says Rikky went to her MOTHER's house. And why dies it say Vayaan, if both of us spoke? (Nuchal means the households, brothers, too, were talking to her)
Bethuel

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Yo, I am the one who offed Betuel. ME. I killed him the night Eliezer slept over. I don't know what this maloch crap is all about. I'm the guy who did it. Seriously.
Vinny the Camal Bookie

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>I wasn't there. That's why it says Rikky went to her MOTHER's house.
Because that's where little girls run to. To their mommy. But I went to my Daddy 'cause yaakov said he is my Daddy's brother.

>And why dies it say Vayaan, if both of us spoke?

maloch answered that. 'cause my Daddy was a chutzpinik and spoke before Bethuel.

>(Nuchal means the households, brothers, too, were talking to her)

Households? Brothers? what brothers? What you talkin about?
Rochel